I’ve been attempting to move away from using the word ‘content’. What does this mean exactly? Well, I’m not intending to stop reading books, playing video games, watching films and television programs, or anything of the sort. What I’m wanting to intentionally stop being a consumer and a creator of ‘content’.
At university, my undergraduate degree was in film, television, and radio, and we were taught to view all of it as content. All three diciplines placed into the same amorphous bucket to be fed to the masses – or ‘punters’ as we’re referred to in television control rooms. I no longer want to be a mindless consumer, reaching back into the trough once I don’t have something in front of me to engage with.
I could spend the same hours gorging on the news for the day, playing the new hotness on steam, or ensuring I was keeping up-to-date with what BookTok and Bookblr were telling me to read. It was – and I suspect for many people still is – an intense need to keep apace with the masses. I felt myself getting into a “I must to get through this or I’ll fall behind” mindset.
Not only did this exacerbate my already anxiety riddled brain and it’s loathing of social obligation, but it actively discouraged coming back to something and revisiting it. I would no longer re-read a book, sit and re-watch a comfort movie, or replay a game to experience its ending from a different perspective. I eventually no longer felt the desire, it was always preferable to ‘keep up’ over revisit.
I can’t help but then wonder if this contributes to another feeling I’ve been grappling with. Lately I’ve been in a space where nothing feels my own. Yes, the topic of true ownership is a huge issue in today’s digital media and entertainment worlds, but that’s not exactly what I mean. I’m speaking of the kind of ownership where something is yours. It’s a part of you, something you fold into your life and think about. Typically these would be the books, films, games, or shows that you recommend to everyone because they’re your favourites. They’re things to help others understand you.
Absolutely, you can be be a fan of something like Andor1 but will you truly be able to own it? The same way circa 2014 Tumblr users owned Supernatural or Dr. Who? Would you pour over it again, and again until you can recite your favourite episodes word-for-word? Granted, some might (not sure why) but I fear those of you that want to, simply don’t have the time. There always something new and exciting on the horizon that must be watched. This isn’t your fault of course, and in no way meant to be a criticism of you or the Star Wars franchise – I am a die-hard Trekker2 after all, it’d be more than a little hypocritical to call someone out there – but a criticism of the industry that won’t let you breathe. Re-engaging with your favourites, especially media you own3, means you’re not keeping up with whats new, and certainly not giving companies your money to access it.
Now, honestly this is a bit of an exaggeration. Absolutely, you can re-watch your comfort shows, re-read your favourite books, and re-play all the ‘best’ games. The point I’m trying to make here is, with the absolute treasure-troves released each year, there’s little to no incentive to let a story sit with you. This is the drive behind removing ‘content’ from my personal mental lexicon. Not all are worthy of being in the same bucket, and the bucket itself doesn’t feel like it’s mine. I want to re-watch, re-read, and re-play to my heart’s content. I want – to be honest ‘need’ – to rebuild my list of favourites so that I may talk to them with confidence.
At the moment, that’s just Star Trek4, but I want it to grow to include authors like Robin Hobb, Robert Jordan, and R. F. Kuang novels, maybe even some that don’t begin with the letter ‘r’. I want my music taste to become my own, non-algorithmic, vaguely punk-aligned nonsense once more, instead of the lo-fi sameness that I find myself listening to. I just want to have things again, unafraid of my considered ‘bad’, but never ashamed of it being mine.
- Admittedly not something I wish to watch beyond the lack-lustre first two episodes I’ve already been subject to.[↩]
- Trekker vs. Trekkie labelling is a blast to go down, and to be honest I use the two interchangeably, just because.[↩]
- Like books, DVDs and CDs on your shelf, or music and ebooks your purchased licences for.[↩]
- Mostly due to the franchise being a key focus of my post-graduate study[↩]
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